Chapter III

Chapter III
A Love Story
    As we continue our study in Hosea, we need to understand that God is talking to the nation of Israel, to Hosea and his wife, to myself and my wife personally and to you. The story is timeless; the message is for Israel today and for you and I today.

    The whole book of Hosea including the last chapter, which uses many words directed to Israel as a nation, can and needs to be taken personally. Israel as a nation and Ephraim are made up of people just like you and I. All of Israel as a nation are descendants of Abraham, God is addressing the people. God is addressing you and I. The message and promises are personal and can be taken personally and literally. Romans 8:17, And now that we are Christ’s we are the true descendants of Abraham, and all of God’s promises to him belong to us. Hallelujah! They ARE yours and mine.
     The horrible, beautiful love story that God uses to draw his people to Him is a story of rejection, hurt, abandonment, and a new start with soft words and love. God used reconciliation of a husband and wife after adultery to speak to you and I, a nation and to the world.

    Hosea courted and married a wife whom he full well knew had a sexual problem. Gomer, his wife, had at least one child and probably the two younger, which were not Hosea’s. Hosea loved these two children like his own. In verse 1, Chapter 2 Hosea goes to his children and speaks of his dysfunctional family. He tells his oldest son with a pleading tone, O Jezreel, rename your brother and sister. Call your brother Ammi (which means now you are mine); name your sister Ruhamah (pitied) for now God will have mercy upon her!

    Hosea then begged his son to go to his mother and beg her to stop playing the harlot. Hosea felt she was no longer his wife. Please ask her to stop giving herself to others. He then warns, if she does not, I will strip her naked as the day she was born and cause her to waste away and die of thirst as in a land riddled with famine and drought. Gomer took the money and gifts Hosea gave her and used them for her own addiction. Hose put an end to the finances for parties and the continuation of her lifestyle. Hosea cut her off. Hosea’s hope was 6:7b that she will think I might as well return to my husband, for I was better off with him than I am now.

    Hosea went to his son for help, which only put him into a role as a rescuer to his father. Putting the son in this role did not bring Gomer back, for Hosea had to buy her back after she fell further into her sin, which brought about being sold into slavery. Hosea gave Gomer an ultimatum to change, followed by a threat to change. The ultimatum nor the threat brought about change. The treats did not bring about change or Gomer would have returned before slavery, and it was not being rescued by family, it was God’s instructions that freed both Hosea and Gomer to love again. Hosea let her go on her own to follow her addiction. Gomer fell as far as she could go before Hosea could rescue her. I must emphasize here do not rescue until God lies on your heart to do so. If you do, it will only be another cycle of destruction. Listen to God for his instructions, He will tell you when. God told Hosea when to go get Gomer in Hosea 3:1-3 God states to go get her and bring her back and love her, for this is how I love. It was not treats to change that changed Gomer it was unconditional love that changed Gomer.

    Hosea still loved his wife as God loves us when we stray into our controlling addictions to answer our problems. Hosea states in 2:14 NAS, Therefore, behold I will allure her, bring her into the wilderness. And speak kindly to her. Hosea 2:14-17 TLB, But I will court her again, and bring her into the wilderness, and I will speak to her tenderly there. There I will give back her vineyards to her and transform her valley of troubles into a door of hope. (When Hosea gave Gomer, a door of hope then Gomer could respond with singing and joy. She could again sing out “It’s all coming back to me now”. As they were able to talk, they both could sing “It’s all coming back to me now”. She will respond to me there, singing with joy as in the days long ago in her youth after I had freed her from captivity in Egypt (slavery). (For you and I, the slavery of any kind of addition.)

    In that coming day, she will call me my husband instead of my master. (Master Baal. My owner, controller.) O Israel, (and you and I) I will cause you to forget your idols, (addictive compulsion) and their names will not be spoken anymore. Hosea 2:18b-20, Then you will lie down in peace and safety, unafraid; and I will bind you to me forever with chains of righteousness and justice and (free unconditional) love an (undeserved unmerited) mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness and love, and you will really know me then, as you never have before. The forgiveness, mercy and unmerited, unconditional love that Hosea had through God allowed Gomer to know Hosea intimately as she never know him before.

    Hosea had hope from God. This is what gave him hope for reconciliation with his wife. Oh, to be chained with righteousness, and justice and love and mercy. Oh, to be betrothed in faithfulness and love. But how could I love in righteousness when I had unrighteousness in the form of chains that bound me to habits, which I thought I had handled, chains that controlled the way I handled problems? Chains that were put there by family influence. Chains that I chose to make a way of life with. Chains that bind. But God says, I will remove the chains. Hallelujah. God has removed the unrighteousness and replaced it with his righteousness in my life. I had to open the closet to Him, myself and others. He took the skeletons from my closet and buried them for me in the ocean to be remembered no more.

    Apparently if Hosea’s son Jezreel did plead with his mother on Hosea’s behalf, it did not work, for in 3:1-3 Hosea had to buy her back from slavery. God told Hosea to go and get her and bring her back to you and love her. For this is how I love. In order for Gomer to survive because of her addiction, she had to sell herself into prostitution. When I was trapped into handling my own addiction, I fell to the lowest level of sin in my life. My finances dried up, trust was broken in all areas of my life. I was trapped. Like Israel, Gomer and myself, God allowed being bound and my freedom to be taken away. I was out of control.

Out of Control
    Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. states that:

We come to believe a power greater than our self could restore us to sanity. (Step 2 of a 12 Step program.) Bible Reading: Daniel 4:19-33

    Nebuchadnezzar, a king who ruled a large empire, who took all credit unto himself for building a beautiful city as his own royal residence as the capital of his own empire. A proud man who stood strong who did not want to hear God even after he was warned, Nebuchadnezzar turned it off and refused to listen.
    Nebuchadnezzar had a dream, which was given to him as a warning. He was very distraught and frightened by the dream even though he did not understand its meaning. He appealed to all the magicians, astrologers, fortune-tellers, and wizards to find the meaning of the dream, we do the same thing when we call 1-900-psy-chic for advice, when we run to this one and that one instead of God’s word. We then wonder why we have so much trouble in our lives when we chose to follow advice that is not God’s word based. No one could help the King. Then he turned to Daniel. Daniel, the man who had proven himself in that he understood, practiced daily and believed God’s word.

    Nebuchadnezzar himself said, Daniel--- the man I named Belshazzar after my god- the man in whom is the spirit of the Holy gods. Nebuchadnezzar knew Daniel would have the answer. If you want answers, turn to God and men of God who understand mercy, grace and forgiveness. To turn to anyone else with ideas that are not completely God’s word based you will only be turning yourself over to more heartache, pain and deeper long term sorrow and suffering.

    Daniel’s interpretation of Nebuchadnezzar’s dream was a harsh warning. He told him he would be cut down from the roots, he told him he would loose his freedom and his rule, he told him he would eat grass like an animal for seven years. He told him that his people would chase him from his palace (house). He said for seven years this would go on until you learn that the most high God dominates the kingdoms of men and gives power to anyone he chooses. Daniel told him the stump and the roots that were left in the ground means you will get you kingdom back again when you have learned that God rules.

    Daniel pleaded, King Nebuchadnezzar please listen, stop sinning; do what you know is right. Perhaps even yet, God will spare you. I plead with you, please listen to what God wants to give you. Please listen to God’s voice, please listen, he can heal. God wants to give you peace. Please listen to Him.

    Nebuchadnezzar did not listen to what he knew was right. I did not listen to what I knew was right. He did not listen to God’s warning. He became hard hearted and let his pride rule him. He went on sinning until God stepped in. I went on sinning until God stepped in. God had his own people run him out of his house until he learned who is in control one year after he was warned.

    When Nebuchadnezzar looked up to heaven and acknowledged God was in control! Then he had his sanity returned to him. When his sanity returned so did his honor and glory and hid kingdom, and his counselors and officers, and was re-established as head of his kingdom, with even greater honor than before. Then he praised, glorified and honored God who is able to take the proud and push them into the dust.

    Like Nebuchadnezzar, God warned me, I did not listen I did not want to hear from God, I turned him off. I wanted what I wanted. I pursued what I wanted. I gave up teaching children’s Church because I knew what I was doing was wrong. One year to the day, when I had spent my first day with Angela she asked me to leave. I was driven from my home. God had (just as He had Nebuchadnezzar) used my own people to ask me to leave. Before I left I acted like an animal that could not control it’s temper. Although it was for financial reasons, God got my attention. I began to look at myself. I could see how I had taken my anger out on my wife. In my sick and confused state I thought, She’s just like my first wife. She would not seek counsel either. I thought she was saying, like Julie had, I don’t need help, you’re the one with the problem. But my wife was not Julie and my anger and rage was misplaced. As we began to talk, I started to see more and more the problems within myself. On a Thursday night three days before the _ _ _ _ (dung) hit the fan is when I saw the big word rejection. As I walked out of the house towards the street, it hit me. REJECTION that’s what drove me to my addiction in the past, but it was too late. Rejection that is what made me defensive. IT IS over, I need help, God. please help me get help. I made up my mind, that the following Thursday I was going to talk to Dr. N.P. a therapist about this. I had already made an appointment to see her with a prescription from my doctor for counseling.

    All day Friday I tried to reach my pastor to tell him that I have realized where the trouble started and that it started in me. Pastor was out of town all that day. Sunday morning I went to church. Pastor was out of town. Sunday night Angela wanted to meet me again to talk. When we met my Angela asked me what happened. I told her and did not dispute anything she said, I told her, you have a very sick husband. I was told to get out of town for my safety, least my in-laws kill me, I told Angela I was going for counseling and help. I was told to seek help in another state. We parted. I made up my mind while still in Angela car, I am not leaving. I am not running.

    You can not blame your addiction when you are out of control. When you are out of control, you are out of control. Busting things up, knocking holes in walls, causing fear and terror in your loved ones, verbal abuse, physical abuse, psychological abuse or anything else we try to do in reaction to, or to ease the pain of our rejection are wrong. They will scar, they will damage, they will destroy what you love.

    I called Scotty. Scotty please help me. My addiction has caused me to hurt several people really bad. My anger and my way of handling rejection has caused me to inflict severe pain on to those I truly love. Scotty I’m out of control. I have put holes in the wall, thrown things and hurt people. I have been told to get out of town. Listen I just want to tell I’m getting help, Scotty told me. You need to come talk to me. I said okay. I arrived at 2:30 p.m. I spilled my guts for three hours. I’ve hurt innocent people, I’ve caused terrible damage, and I have no one I can talk to. Please help.

    For the first time in my life I became accountable- my sin was exposed. I had broken hearts, I had put my feelings of rejection on to my wife in a vicious circle of trying to handle my own feeling of rejection. The programs I had learned from my youth I had resorted to again.

    My parents divorced when I was a child. Look for love in pleasing, felt rejection from God for trying to please someone who was hurting. Asked forgiveness. Tried to please God by studying the Bible from cover to cover. Can’t earn God’s love. Gave up, went back to pleasing to get love and affection. Feel guilty. Go back to God, Please forgive me. Fall again and again. Get up fall again. Try hard to please Dad. Cannot in any way please Dad. Learn to sell Dad. Won’t work. Rejection. I need to be loved. Somebody please love me. God please love me, I’m doing your work. How can God love me, I have horrible sin in my life? Back to pleasing to receive love. Feel some love, ‘but still haven’t found what I’m lookin’ for. (quote from song by U2) (Remember that line, it’s one of the keys that helped me in my search.) I changed from a quiet little boy to an extrovert to receive attention. Still no love. I got saved once a week for two years when I was thirteen and fourteen. The cycle didn’t stop for thirty-three years. The paths of heartaches and heartbreaks as I pulled others into the rescue, please game (or trap) has left a path of destruction in divorce, separation, guilty minds and entrapment for these thirty-three years.

    I am sure that some of those whom I have hurt with my manipulation may feel guilty believing that have encouraged me, or in some way contributed to the trouble I have brought on myself. They were in no way responsible. The truth is the things that I have been guilty of are even more horrendous because I took advantage of people who were hurting, people with needs.

    When we hold positions of leadership, such as a preacher, doctor, marriage counselor or police officer, we are a power figure. When people place their trust in us to help them, they are very vulnerable to manipulation. I had assumed a position of power, from that position of power I could be controlling. Sadly, I was a guy with a problem, a guy with a log in my own eye trying to remove splinters from the eyes of others. I was a man who could not resolve my own financial problems, who could not handle rejection. I did not know I was a man desperately in need of help myself, I did not know any of these problems until my wife and I were able to talk calmly the last few days before I left.