Chapter XXI

Chapter XXI

Receiving Forgiveness
Acts 26:12-18 Paul’s conversion.
We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.   12 Step Recovery, Step 5.

    When I read the text for this lesson, I was reminded how for years I had dreamed of writing and acting in a play written around this story. I have carried the picture in the back of my mind for more than ten years. I envisioned two young men talking about the unpardonable sin, one is saying to the other, Man you don't know- if you knew some of the stuff I've done even you wouldn’t talk to me and God's supposed to see everything so I know He'd never forgive me. The second man arguing, We have not committed the unpardonable sin.   I can envision them in a time-machine being taken back in time where they plan to meet and talk with Paul. Paul would relate to the two men how he had participated in the stoning of one of the Christ’s disciples; and Jesus still loved me. He even called me to do His work.

    In my first book I wrote of how I had always understood God’s forgiveness, my problem was I had not told anyone and was not accountable to anyone. Now as I read and study about Paul I can see that Paul made himself accountable for his crimes and used the testimony of this crime as a catalyst to propel him forward to reach the world. If you have been born again and have given your life to the Lord, you will probably find that it was Paul’s words that brought you to that decision. Paul’s writings in Romans chapters seven and eight are lessons on how to be cured through prayer asking God to crush us.

    Paul was a very learned man. He could speak several languages well and knew the old testament inside and out. Paul was looking for the Messiah to come, he did not believe that Jesus was the Messiah. Paul hated the teaching of Jesus and made it his mission in life to eradicate Christians from the face of the earth. It is written in Acts 8:3, Paul was like a wild man, traveling everywhere to eradicate believers, even entering their private homes, dragging out men and women alike and jailing them.   It is written in Acts 9:1, But Paul, threatening with every breath and eager to destroy every Christian, went to the High Priest in Jerusalem. Paul requested a letter be addressed to synagogues in Damascus requiring cooperation in the persecution of any believers. He found there, both men and woman, so that he could bring them in chains to Jerusalem.   Paul was not asked to do this, Paul came up with the idea, then recruited help to bring about his plan.

    Paul received letters from the High Priest of Jerusalem to carry out his mission and then left for Damascus. Before reaching Damascus, Paul was struck down and blinded by a bright light and Jesus spoke to him. Paul asked, Acts 9:5-6, Who is speaking sir?    I am Jesus, the one you are persecuting! Now, get up and go into the city and await my further instructions.   Jesus did not strike Paul dead, all Jesus told him to do was, get up, and go into the city and await my instructions.   Paul got up and went into the city and stayed at a friend’s house where he fasted and prayed for three days.

    The Lord spoke to Ananias in a vision and told him to go and find Paul and pray for him to receive his sight. Ananias was afraid, but the Lord said, Go.   When God tells you to go, GO! Ananias prayed for Paul to receive his sight and instantly Paul received his sight. When we are blind to who Jesus is and blind to the wrong we are guilty of we must pray in earnest (and it would not hurt to fast) that God will bring someone into our path to pray for us, so that we too can receive our sight. Paul stayed a few more days until he received back his strength, then Acts 6:18 states: that he went at once to the synagogue to tell everyone about Jesus.   It was Jesus who turned Paul around, Jesus made Himself known to Paul. When Jesus makes Himself known to you, no one can take Him away from you.

    A powerful message came out of the things that Paul was guilty of: Paul’s change was so complete and such a turn around that his message still today, brings people to Christ. When you accept Christ into your life, your life like Paul’s turns around and your message will be just as life changing to the people you share your story with as Paul’s. I have watched tears flow from the eyes of grown men as I shared my testimony with them.

    Like you and I after being saved (rescued) by Jesus, Paul was in a recovery program, he had to practice step 5. He had to admit to God, himself and to another human being the exact nature of his crime. Paul not only admitted his wrong to another human being, he testified of it in Damascus, then in Jerusalem and through Judea and also to the Gentiles. (Paul had considered Gentiles to be dogs.) Paul’s words were then written so that generations to come could hear and read his confession. Paul’s testimony tells of his life before meeting Jesus, his encounter with Jesus and his change after meeting Jesus.

    When we come to Jesus we admit how we wronged Him, admit our crime to ourselves, and to another. God wants us to receive immediate forgiveness, based on the work that Jesus did at the cross, by dying for our sins. We just have to admit we sinned and give them to Him. You can’t earn it. Paul did not earn forgiveness, but as Jesus forgave Paul, Jesus forgiveness empowered him to become the single most powerful preacher that ever lived. What did Paul admit to when he admitted the exact nature of his wrongs? Paul used the word I over and over when admitting to his wrongs. When we admit to our wrongs we must do the same. We must say I am guilty of...

    Paul said in Acts 26:9-12,   I used to believer that I ought to do many horrible things to the followers of Jesus of Nazareth. I imprisoned many of the saints in Jerusalem, as authorized by the High Priests; and when they were condemned to death, I cast my vote against them. I used torture to try to make Christians everywhere curse Christ. I was so violently opposed to them, that I even hounded them in distant cities in foreign lands. I was on such a mission to Damascus, armed with the authority and commission of the chief priests.

    Paul did not mince any word, but used strong words to better describe his 100% honest feelings, he violently opposed and hounded them.   I have described in this book how I had used harsh, foul language in describing why I was burning some of the garbage I needed to get rid of. We need to be honest in our confession for healing.

    Jesus told Paul in Acts 26:16, Now stand up! For I have appeared to you to appoint you as my servant and my witness. You are to tell the world about this experience and about the many other occasions when I shall appear to you.

    Jesus has made Himself known to you and I for the same reasons. We are to be His servants and witnesses. We are to tell the world about our experience. We must witness; testify to our crime, our pain, our healing, act as legal witness, to furnish proof of. No one can witness what we have lived, seen or heard. Two of the most powerful teachers I have ever heard, were pastors of mine, Dr. David Wyrtzen and Dr. James Mezzick. Both men have earned a Ph.D. in Theology, both prefer to be addressed as pastor. Both men will readily admit to their shortcomings and request prayer for themselves in areas of their lives that need prayer or that they feel they are weak in. Like Paul, both men are mighty teachers of God’s word. Paul confessed, I was wrong.   I have just finished reading an article in the February 1997 issue of Charisma Magazine where Jim Bakker just did the same thing. Bakker also wrote a book, I Was Wrong. When I finished reading the article I was weeping from deep within and had to go to my bedroom and shut the door. I prayed and wept for close to thirty minutes, when I realized that this is what we need. Honesty. I realized that my first book could be a tool that can change lives. Paul’s message was a message of what he had done wrong in his life. I believe that Jim Bakker’s message will be just as life changing to those he shares with, and I pray that my testimony will also be a help to other fallen warriors. I have heard it said that the Christian religion is the only army that will forsake, abandon and kill it’s own fallen warriors. The fallen when helped will come back stronger than before. They will know where they are weak and vulnerable and will cover these areas with the breast plate of truth and the armor of faith. I am a fallen champion to my wife, my children and my step-children. I pray to God I may have a chance to be their champion again.